Pandemic achievements

Today marked the first day when both children were in school and I wasn't working so I had a bit of time for myself.  And when I say a bit of time, I actually mean A BIT, because with Emma starting Reception class, she was in school from 8.50am to 11.30am. Nevertheless, it felt good to have some space, despite missing them while they weren't home to drive me insane. So after tidying the house a bit I was considering going for a run, bike ride, whatever - but instead I chose to sit outside in the garden reading and contemplating. I know, sounds great, but no reason to get too envyious, it was only half an hour. It is never a good idea to let my brain wander for too long, the outcome may be dangerous.

We now hit the 6 months milestone since working from home and since this whole madness started - but who's counting?! Seems like a long time, and as we get back into sort of a routine with school, girls' activities,  I struggle to remember how things were before. It was a lot of back and forth, a lot of rushing, frustration about the girls being slow to get ready, exhaustion. Then things slowed down significantly, and now they're seeding up again.

What have we achieved during this time? That IS the question. Emma learned to write letters and numbers, to ride her bike, to wipe her bottom (ish), she now started school. Ariana has read thousands of pages (not exagerating!), has learned to ride her unicycle, has improved her tennis, ran 5K, donated her hair to charity.

Me? I have nothing significant to add to the list. Probably my biggest achievement is that I kept everyone alive. I fed them healthy home cooked meals, tried to keep the house as tidy as possible (far from my acceptance limit, but had to go with it), while also trying to keep afloat at work, do some home-schooling with Ariana and spend some time with Emma. Oh, and exercised - sometimes quite a lot. But these don't count as achievements, they're just things that had to be done. 

I know people who have painted their house, learned new languages, tydied up their wardrobes, ran urltra-marathons, cycled to Brighton, did something they were passionate about and took it above and beyond. Me - not even close. But yes, I did keep everyone alive and happy (most of the time). Still married!!  (that should actually count as an achievement for all those whose marriage survived these months) Thankfully I didn't make a 'to do' list at the beginning, so at least no trace of failure on paper. Maybe I had a few things in mind. and actually some little projects are forming in my mind, but nothing has really finalised. I haven't even managed to finish painting the bloody fence in the garden.

Sometimes it feels like I've been free falling all these months, revolving around so many things that were falling themselves, and we only just sort of hit the ground. I think I managed to fall on my feet (again), as if I had another choice. It feels like a new beginning, a slightly scary one, a new normal (I so dislike this term!), an oportunity to chose to slow down rather than go back to our hectic lives from before, a chance to decide to focus on more significant achievements.

Quite funny story about the falling - one of my earliest memories from childhood, when I was trying to make sense of the world, was me wondering how and where is 'the end of the world'. I was imagining that when you reach the end of the world, the land is ending and there's a massive abyss. And if you fall there, you will keep falling forever, have your birthdays while falling. My dad would laugh about this, and then I found out how the Earth is round. It is indeed, and yet, here's 2020 and there's the 'falling'. The birthday parties held during the fall, the cancelled fun stuff, the struggle to make sense of it all.