Father of my children

My Dad was unique in so many ways, and his warmth, his love, his kindness, his endless trust in me, will be with me forever, even if he's no longer with us. Losing him was the hardest thing I ever had to do, and I often wondered if it would have been easier if we weren't that close. But I much rather had the experience of having an amazing father who I'd miss this much, than having one that I wouldn't.

I did not think it would be possible for anyone to match him. Until I had my own children and I witnessed Dan becoming a Dad. Nobody ever could have guessed he'd have it in him. He was the most indifferent person to children, he never ever held a baby until on what was the last hot day of the year, that 7th October 2011, our first little bundle of joy came into this world.

We were scheduled for a C-section with Ariana, and while I had to spend a few hours in intensive care after the surgery, the baby would get to spend time with the father. I think that was when Dan's father instincts just came to light and kept growing eversince. I stayed in the hospital for 5 days, and I had the nurses around to help, but once we got home, he took over everything and took care of us both. He was holding his child as if he's done that all his life. Ariana was a little piranha and breastfeeding was a complete nightmare the first month, but having him next to me stroke my hair while I was in tears with a baby attached to me was all took to get me through. Bathtimes were a bit tricky at first, so he would hold Ariana while I would wash her, and he would just gently talk to her and calm us both. The best thing was when he came home from work, he was leaning over Ariana and speaking to her, and she'd try to reply, it was the most perfect sight ever. His face was completely lit when he would do that - he was completely mesmerised by his little girl. Real father material, I'm telling you!

Then when we got pregnant the second time, he secretely told me he wished it's a girl. The birth was a completely different experience, because we chose to go for a natural birth. I knew Dan is completely freaked out by hospitals (he once nearly fainted when he visited my Dad in hospital) and I was quite concerned he's not going to be able to be there. But then once labour kicked in, he had everything under control. After 20 hours or so, when I was in real pain, I saw him turning really white and thought that's it, he can't handle this, I'm on my own. But no, he kept himself together, came with me in the delivery room and was there helping me give birth to his child. Those father instincts were stronger than ever, and they've never changed. I have so many photos with that unique smile he only has for his daughters.

His girls are everything to him, and they are infinitely lucky to have such a Dad. He is so patient, loves playing with them, spending time with the girls. He knows all the Julia Donaldson stories by heart and can recite them to Emma at bedtime. He thought them how to ride their bikes. He had a Father-Daughter day with Ariana last year, which was so much fun that she still speaks of quite often.
I know both Ariana and Emma will have the kindest words and fondest memories with their Dad when they're grown up.