Women - those supernatural creatures

I've recently read an article wrote by a friend of mine about gender gaps and it really got me thinking. As a mother of two girls and as a what I like to think about myself, a strong woman, I've always been a feminist. In my early twenties, when I was convinced that the world was mine, I used to say women can do everything that men do, and on top of that, they can do it all while wearing heels. This is not to say men can't wear heels, I dare you to try.

Over the last nearly 4 months, we've all found ourselves dealing with new challenges and trying to comprehend this new way of living. However, I believe the working mums have faced the ultimate juggling challenge - fitting the role of mum, teacher, cleaner, wife, whatever role at job. No wonder I for one constantly felt like a complete loser, as I had the feeling that I've been unable to do anything properly. Thank goodness I am keeping positive and can accept my limitations, otherwise it can have a serious impact. Uninterrupted work is only something I can dream of, teaching my child and making it fun for her was something I could only fit in between meetings and preparing meals, saying that my house is clean is probably the joke of the year. So no wonder how for working mums with forced teaching duties, career falls on the last place. All that pressure that falls on women, all the expectations, in a world where we pretend to be equal to men.

Men would work more, their jobs are more demanding, they will earn more, they will be more tired, they will do less work around the house. That applies to most households, I am not saying it's a general rule. 

Sadly, it will not change too soon. Because the moment a woman has children, and wants to be involved in her children's upbringing more, she'll have to give up part of even all of her career. She will probably work part time, and do her best to do all the rest while exhaustion kicks in. Some dads will take longer paternity leaves and that might do the trick. But how affordable is this in a world where there's a proven difference between women and men's earnings.

In this world, that supernatural mum, who has been breatsfeeding or just soothing her child every hour during the night will get up, take her child to nursery and go to work. She will not be able to properly focus, but she'll try to make her points in meetings and feel better about herself. Then her phone will ring letting her know her baby has temperature and she rushes to the nursery. People at work are understanding, once, twice, but then they'll start relying less on her. She will then go home, where the dining table will still be full of dirty plates from breakfast. She'll soothe her child, while planning/making dinner, still in her work clothes, maybe checking her phone to see if there's a follow up to that meeting she dashed out off. Proper multitasking - which can be really challenging.

The challenge is now different though. No rushing out of the door, no worries about being late to school, or clubs or whatever. But all the overwhelming tasks of a day happening under the same roof and the repetition of them every day. Yes, the rules have relaxed and we have more options, but I think it depends how comfortable we are with this. I for one still feel like it's better to be cautious than jump into enjoying all the freedom.

How do we handle it? What can help? The answer will be different for each of us. But what we're probably all longing for is time for ourselves. I for one relied on exercise to get me through these months. Running, bootcamp, yoga, cycling, walking - all these together have made a massive difference. Up to the point that I get restless if I don't do any kind of exercise for more than couple of days. Running makes everything else seem easy. Yoga has thought me to breathe and to be kind to myself (and others), to embrace what I have now, to be thankful for what my body can do. Bootcamp is my oportunity to let some steam off - I love the challenge. For so long I underestimated the power of exercise, but I think it's never too late. I sometimes feel guilty for spending too much time for myself rather than use that time with the girls. But then I remind myself that we need to look after ourselves in order to be able to look after others. It's such an obvious one, and yet, so easy to forget.